*NA’NSFW’ATIPC*
~ or, Not As ‘Not Safe For Work’ As The IPC ~
I don’t do IPC-esque posts but if I did they wouldn’t be anywhere near as cool as the real deal. Each post delivers a review with a sugarcoating of female fancies (#cleavage), well-versed profanity, and unrivaled shenanigans. Much better than the Royal Mail or: some other shit ‘post’ related joke. Let’s begin!
I’m not a lover of horror. While the wiley Isaacs enjoys the lucid trash smattered throughout the B-horror movie genre, boobs an’ all, I’m akin to more simpler tastes. My collar gets ruffled by the Community adage “6 seasons and a movie” or the day the ACTUAL trailer for The Hateful Eight is released. But that isn’t to say we don’t share some similar tastes. Léon, Raising Arizona, and The Warriors (let the shameless plugging commence) happen to be three of my favouite movies also, go figure, but it’s the slow, witty burn of these three films that shape the sort of film I go for. Take Drive and Hot Rod for instance. Dry irreverent humour has me in stitches, others in tears but if there is one thing we can all relate to, it’s boobs, and oh boy does Eric know boobs #minions (contain yourself Emma).
WARNING: May contain boobs.
In fact Eric knows boobs so well that he has loaded the IPC with 8 pages worth. 175 posts all popped up when I typed ‘boobs’ into the ‘Probe Me’ box, you sir deserve a medal for boob appreciation, heck I might even make an award just for you. Owp, just did!
Unlike Frank Capra’s 1938 family comedy, you CAN take this with you.
In honour of the IPC’s Half Ass Reviews I’ve opted to share with you my unjust one-paragraph thoughts of Jonathan Glazer’s highy divisive sci-fi drama Under the Skin starring the smouldering Scarlett Johansson. Alongside Glazer’s extra-terrestrial seductress I’ll be thunking about Russ Meyer’s Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, an ultra sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll fuelled sleaze fest. WOOPHOLLA.
Under the Skin
A confused alien hotty meanders around Glasgow looking for a cheap lay whilst ruining the Scottish food industry. Donning an alluringly sublime English accent dozy perves fall victim to her charming advances, sinking deeper and deeper into Hades’ cell of damnation. For your cerebral fix look no further than this lascivious sci-fi horror, as Netflix would say. Probably. ~ * * * ~
Meanwhile…
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
In the land of 1970s sexploitation flicks Russ Meyer and the Roger Ebert team up to deliver an unwittingly iconic piece of satirical Americana that has stood the test of time, even if the perky boobies of ‘The Carrie Nations’ haven’t. With a plot consisting of three horny ambitious young female musicians, a jealous boyfriend engaged in an affair with a pornstar, a doolally socialite, sleepovers to give you nightmares, all set amongst Californian glitz it’s no wonder Beyond the Valley of the Dolls has affirmed cult status over the years.
Bodacious boobies bounce between boozy basslines. ~ * * * ~
For a better understanding of who this Russ Meyer fella is look no further than the wikipedia category – ‘Big breast fixation, or the Meyer physical archetype’ with a simple Google search.
On a side note, does anyone else see the similarities between Cyrus’ prophetic speech from The Warriors and Morpheus’ sweaty rabble rouser in The Matrix Reloaded? #caveorgy
As the wise and weary-eyed Cyrus asked, “Can you dig it?” To the IPC, I answer with an unequivocal yes. I doff my Top Hat to you sir.
Five Top Hats.
p.s. note to self – delete internet history after posting.
What a post? And an excellent tribute to the boob master that is Eric.
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What can I say, thank you Vinnie! Always great to have you
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You did a cool job with this post.
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Thanks,I really enjoyed trying to write in a different style, was so much fun and I definitely recommend it, shook up my week real dandy.
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I can certainly see that it shook your week up.
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Hahaa, those bodacious baps have been bouncing around in my ‘Draft’ tab for a while!
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You naughty boy.
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I bow in appreciation to you, sir!! I bow and I burn myself in effigy!!! EXCELLENT WORK!!!!
#caveorgy
best post of the week!!!
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Breaking News: The legend has spoken! Thanks a lot, really glad you enjoyed it. Was so much fun, never knew you could annotate gifs?! A good two hours spent drawing on ladies boobies.
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What better way to spend your day?????
#boobs
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BEST DAY EVER!
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Sir, your award has been proudly posted on my site with a link to this post!
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Ha excellent! It took me a while to get the shade definition just right, I hope your readers enjoy it as much as we do!
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I think it’s the tits!!!
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Perfect.
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It looks awesome!
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A perfect fit!
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Absolute genius!!!!! I love it :)
Can’t wait for The Hateful Eight trailer (and film!) too. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Loved your sign off as well, delete internet history lol!!! All a day’s work in IPC land :)
Great post!
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Thanks Emma, I love it too! We’ve been waiting a long ol’ time for QT to sort us something out but teaser after teaser is killing me! Hahaa had to be done #manyminions
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#minions #hatefuleight!
You’re welcome, brilliant post!!!
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Thanks, that means a lot :) hope you are well
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I’m well thank you and it was very nice of you to ask :)
How are you? Oh you’re welcome, I meant every word! You’re a very convincing and good writer :) plus the humour is great! Would you ever branch out from blogging, a novel or screenplay or something?
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You’re welcome :) I’m just swell thank you, finally getting round to watching Daredevil on Netflix! You’re too kind :) I dabbled with the idea of a screenplay for a while but could never get a good idea of what I wanted to write so it just kind of petered out. Besides, I think I enjoy blogging much more so I’m happy!
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#heavinggreatbosoms
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I am worried that I have condemned Emma to endless bullying with one tweet :/ Lol
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Never! I think ‘minions’ is are awesome, the excitable yellow things too!
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Epic post! Love it!
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Haha thanks Mel!
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Of course, I wasn’t remotely attracted to this particular post because of the shameless portrayal of delicious jugs; it was purely coincidence. I merely wanted to say a big ‘thank you’, for following my humble blog.
And the huge wobbling melons on the header had absolutely nothing to do with my choosing this post to send you that message.
Best wishes from Norfolk. Pete.
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Of course, I’ve heard that line before haha! You’re very welcome, let’s hope next week’s scheduled heatwave doesn’t leave us in a similar situation as 1976 eh
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